Please take this letter to Cosette
by Cogito Ergo Sum
Summary: Fantine realises that she will never see Cosette again. She decides to have a letter written to her.


**A/N:** Les Miserables does certainly not belong to me, nor do Fantine, Cosette or Jean Valjean, or any of the other characters, for that matter. This story _ís_ mine though. Please **Review**, that will be very much appreciated.

_This was completely modified, edited and partly rewritten on 3/2/05_

Thanks for reviewing, much appreciated.

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_My dearest Cosette,_

_It is so hard for me to write down these simple words, for I know that they will be my last. My child. Where should I begin? Probably a short time before you were born, when I first met your father. He was a nice man, Cosette. I was young and naïve and of course I was filled with his romances and the thought of having my dreams come true made me no more than a foolish teenager. He was my first love, and the only one I have ever known besides you. He gave me so much joy, and I was convinced that we would marry and have a merry family. Sadly, your father was not ready for such commitment and he left me. He left because he was frightened. And with his leave, he left you with me. Cosette, please do not loathe your father for I know that he cared once. He looked after me, and he looked after you. _

_When he left, I was on my own. I decided to return to my birthplace; Montreuil Sur Mer. I hoped that I would find someone there who would take care of me and help me to find work. I realised that I would not be able to look after you. If people found out that you were born out of wedlock it would be the end of both of us. If I left you with a good family I would still be able to take care of you and I would be certain that you would be fine. I thought I had found a fine family in the Thenardiers. My love, please don't hate me for leaving you. It brought me as much pain as it did to you. You crossed my mind every minute of every long day. I worked to earn money that I sent to you immediately. I sent you clothes, everything. I tried. That way I could still look after you. You were in my heart, always. _

_Then one day, one of the factory girls discovered a letter from Thenardier. I got sacked, but I found a new job fairly easily. I was still able to care for you, thank God. And that's what was most important. Sadly I… I fell ill. I was lucky enough that the Mayor from Montreuil took me under his wings. Monsieur Madeleine takes good care of me. He tries to make me as comfortable as he can and when I complained about not being able to send money to care for you, he offered his help. He's very kind to me Cosette. He wrote to the Thenardiers a couple of times and he tried to convince them into bringing you here, but they told him that you were ill. Once Monsieur Madeleine told me of your condition I became very concerned. The Mayor promised me he would bring you to me. He will come to you soon. He promised. _

_It would have been nice to see you just one last time. Cosette, my beloved child. I regret that I shall never have the opportunity to tell you how much I love you. It will be only through this letter that I will show you. Cosette, once you're reading this, I guess you will be a beautiful young woman. Then you will understand. Cosette, I am very sick. There is a possibility that I shall never see you again. That fact hurts me so much that I can barely breathe. If I were to choose between not seeing you ever again or death, I would choose death, but a fate like this is just too miserable. It is not fair. I never did no wrong. But I must continue. There are so many things I want to say. _

_I'm so sorry for leaving you with the Thenardiers. They seemed a very nice couple. I hope you can ever forgive me. If only I could see you. I would hold your hand and tell you it will be fine. Your mother is here. And I will be there. Whenever you feel sad or lonely, just think of me, even if you do not know me. Think of me and I will be with you to hold you. Cosette, I believe that there is a God watching over you and me. I believe there is a heaven, and I pray that I may go there. I will watch you grow up from there. _

_To miss your growth, I think that that is the hardest thing for a mother losing her child, or a child losing her mother. It's the same thing for I will be losing you, only I will be gone and you will remain. _

_I'm convinced that you will become a beautiful woman. You were a splendid baby as well. I hope you'll find joy and happiness in everything you do, as long as you do it with confidence and as long as you like doing it. I hope you will find a fine young man to marry with and start a family; it would be wonderful to see my child caressing her own children, as I caressed you. _

_Cosette, there are still so many things I would like to say, but there is so little time and there simply are words that cannot be written in letters. There are things which you must feel with your heart. If you listen carefully, I know that you will be able to find those things. The same goes for the answers to your questions in life. I will be there to keep an eye on you. Just remember that._

_Learn to love and love everything and you will be happy. I know that your adoptive father will take good care of you. I love him for what he has already done for us and I trust him with your life. _

_May you find love and happiness everywhere in your life._

_I will be with you,_

_Always and ever._

_Your mother,_

_Fantine._

The bed squeaked. There was a sound of someone coughing. The room was only faintly lighted with a single candle. At the only table sat an old man. He put down his pencil and lifted the letter from the desk.

"There. Is this how you want it?" He asked the feminine figure on the bed. The young woman nodded faintly. The writer looked at her with great sadness before he left his seat. He had been following her progress ever since she had come to Montreuil Sur Mer. When ever she needed to have a letter written, she went to him. He had seen her before she became a wreck, an outcast of society. She had been beautiful once, now her hair was no longer long, shiny and blonde and her face was dirty and slim. She had once worn out the most precious dresses, now she was wrapped with the cloth of death. Her eyes were dull, yet they still held a mysterious sparkle which sadly started to fade. Her soul was already leaving her body. The nurse had told him that she slept often and that with each minute she weakened. He sat on the edge of her bed and held up the letter for her as she was too weak to hold it herself. He smiled comfortingly.

"Yes… Yes it looks fine. Thank, you…" she spoke slowly, with quiet gasps of breath between each word. The writer frowned as Fantine closed her eyes. Sweat had gathered on her forehead. He continued to observe her and felt more pity for her than ever before. She knew that she was dying. She had been holding it back and she had been fighting it for a long time, but now she knew. She had realised that she would never see her daughter again, and with that realisation the only hope of recovery had disappeared. The Mayor had waited too long. If only he had gone to fetch Cosette the day he had planned… But now… if he'd leave tomorrow Fantine wouldn't live through the day to see her child that very evening. All was lost. She was too weak now. She had finally given up on hope. And by giving up, death would come sooner. And she knew. With a gasp for breath she opened her eyes again.

"Just… leave it on the table." With her head she weakly nodded at the table beside her bed. For a moment or two, he didn't know what to say. He stood there fumbling his hat in his hands, eyes focused at the stone floor. Fantine looked at him in exhaustion. "Mademoiselle…" he began, still hesitating. "Just wanted to say that I'm very sorry." Fantine let out a sigh and she tried to smile. "So am I."

Two hours later, Monsieur Madeleine returned from the court. Fantine was barely awake. She noticed him sitting on her bed, yet her vision was blurred. Sister Simplice stopped cooling her forehead and left the room. Monsieur Madeleine helped her get up. "Monsieur le Mayor," she brought out, "I wrote a letter to Cosette." She leaned towards the table. He took the letter and smiled. "You will be able to tell her everything that's in that letter yourself soon." Fantine shook her head and sank back against her pillow. "No… I will not. But… I have peace with it." He tried to disagree with her but she interrupted him. "I shall not see her." She breathed heavily now, it certainly took her great effort. "Please take this letter to Cosette." He took her hands and squeezed them softly. A last, comforting effort. The last moment of peace before someone entered the house and ran into the room. The Mayor moved away from Fantine's side. She blinked to adjust her eyes to the dark figure standing right before her. It was a police officer. Fantine opened her mouth in shock. This man was going to arrest her once again! The police would take Cosette from her. She began to hyperventilate. Everything in the room spun around her, as if she found herself riding a merry-go-round. He would take Cosette from her… That was all that was racing through her mind. She couldn't hear a word the two men were saying, but suddenly there was the warmth of Madeleine's voice. She must have voiced her fears for he whispered to her: "I will look after Cosette. I'll raise your child with love…" His voice faded away as everything turned black. She heard a loud bang and a curse and then it went completely silent. Cosette would be well. He would look after her…

Only silence remained.


End file.
